This week was challenging for me- one that tested my patience involving
interpersonal relationships. I was assigned to work with new people on various
tasks and either lack of communication or difference in opinions caused me some
frustration and bitterness towards these individuals and a feeling of a lack of
efficiency in heeding to their behaviors. The pickle workshop was an event I
had looked forward to that would give me a break from the fieldwork I would
often be assigned for days. But without clear instructions by the young woman in
charge of this pickle workshop, I was confused, she impatient, causing stress
on both our ends. Though teaching pickling methods to the mentally and physically
challenged community was a cute experience, the lingering effects of not doing
things right the first time remained with me throughout the day.
Thursdays are officially “chore swap” day, where Adamahniks rotate from
their weekly job. As I had been feeding goats and scooping their waste, I knew
the procedure and though attempted to explain the chore to a peer, she, someone
who had tended to goats in the past seemed to want to do things her way as she
was familiar. It was upsetting to be asked to explain a task in the manner in
which I was taught, only to be waved off due to a feeling of pride by another-
like I’m wasting my time, or doing it wrong, despite this procedure being taught
directly by the barnyard manager.
Just hours later my patience was tested yet again by another peer, with
whom I was assigned the task of cleaning the common areas at the Isabella
Freedman. Here are my needs- I need an ultimate goal, and I need to be told
exactly what to do. Though the housekeeping manager had told my partner what
was going on, this information was not relayed to me, leading to my becoming
upset at not knowing exactly what was to be done and in what fashion.
Communication is a factor that was stressed during Adamah’s application
process, which was encouraging to me, coming from a place where communication
was failing, yet having grown up in an environment where talking and
interacting was crucial for success. In these instances where there was
disorganization, unforetold expectations, and negative responses to my attempt
at communicating effectively, this had caused a series of emotions I had not
experienced since walking out of the van onto the Isabella Freedman campus-
anger, depression, confusion, a feeling of being misunderstood.
After the initial magic and perfection of living on a farm among other
young adults with open minds and willing hearts, where everything seems to be
going 100% is the reality of dealing with others, coming face-to-face to those
who are used to different methods of speaking, working, getting things done.
This is part of the challenge of living at Adamah, with a cohort of 11 others
who are spending their first summer on this farm achieving the tasks presented
to them in the way they are accustomed to, or feel would be most effective.
I’m still in awe of this place- of the process and effort that goes
into compost and recycling, the fact that I can bike just five minutes away for
some goat therapy, or to grab a cup of fresh coffee from the main cafeteria, or
to watch the ripples of the lake that is encircled by the Isabella Freedman
campus. But weaving the initial adventurous aspect with challenge of living on
the farm cooperatively, simply represents the general reality of life on and off the
farm. This isn't paradise- it's life.
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