Avodat HaLev and Another Meaning of Acceptance

In addition to the farming education we receive out here at the Isabella Freedman are classes that teach us about communication, interpersonal relationships, and leadership skills. After spending the first couple of weeks doing Avodat HaLev, the morning service with various staff members at Adamah, the staff oriented the Adamah members to be able to lead Avodat HaLev ourselves, using some of the basic songs and chants from the staff-led prayers, and incorporating our own ideas into the early morning service. Last week there were two days reserved for Adamah-niks to lead Avodat HaLev… ironically, the two participants who had decided to step up and be the first ones to lead seemed to have been at opposite extremities in religious observance and ideas of prayer. Tuesday, we entered the Red Yurt, a regular location for Avodat HaLev and other educational sessions, where the girl leading sang a couple of songs from the Adamah song sheet, but for the majority of the time inserted some meditation and recited poetry that she felt appropriate for the early morning prayer. During the silent meditation, generally lasting about 10 minutes during Avodat HaLev, the girl went around the circle practicing energy healing with each individual, rubbing an energy-uplifting solution on our temples. This was supposedly meant to increase the positive energy, whether we were out working on the farm, or washing vegetables at the Cultural Center. Meditation and English versions of prayer have become familiar to me while at Adamah, but the traditions still differ, and seem somewhat strange to one who grew up modern Orthodox, having learned to pray from a traditional siddur (prayer book).

Thursday featured an Adamah-nik leader who grew up in a secular home, but recently started keeping Shabbat and Kosher, and following Orthodox traditions. While he had used a couple of the songs from the Adamah song-sheet, as required as per the guidelines of leading Avodat HaLev, he had us open up the Artscroll siddur, and recite the morning blessings, thanking G-d for various gifts He has given us as we wake up to another day. I was impressed with the balance this particular fellow created, using the traditional prayers, and explaining them to those less familiar with these blessings. While this form of prayer was still outside of my comfort zone, it nevertheless provided for me a piece of “home” because I was used to saying these prayers in Hebrew on a regular basis, and also allowed me to look into these prayers in more than just an automatic way, when I usually say the words so quickly that the deeper meaning may surpass my mind.

It was conversation afterwards that set off thoughts and emotions within me- the fact that a girl unfamiliar with the traditional prayer felt it was oppressive and misogynistic; the fact that a guy who had grown up religious felt the prayers at Adamah needed to be tweaked so that those who were brought up more secular would feel comfortable, despite what the more observant community thought; the fact that even a male attending Rabbinical school felt the traditional prayers did not fit in with the ideas at Adamah- creating a safe space, tweaking things so that everyone feels warm, welcome, and accepted.

As for me, these were conversations I don’t remember having- either ever, or in a very long time. The prayers are not misogynistic- they were written thousands of years ago in a certain society where, yes, men were seen as the leaders of the household, of society. Why would we change prayers that were set so long ago just because we feel uncomfortable with it? Perhaps there’s an explanation for why men were created to do so-and-so and women were not. Perhaps women are on a higher, not lower level because we don’t need these commandments, because we were given Rosh Chodesh (the new month) as a reward for not succumbing to the action of the sin of the golden calf. And if we are talking about a pluralistic community, then does it not make sense for each person to feel a little discomfort at the unfamiliar practices, secular or observant alike? Feeling welcome and accepted is so important, but what about the written and oral commandments given to us thousands of years ago… should we change prayers and traditions because we are living in a society in which we feel everyone should be equal, and we should do what’s right for us, because we feel we have that privilege? Yes, these thoughts, based on my modern (yet open) Orthodox upbringing come tumbling out like blocks falling out of a box they were in for perhaps years too long.

I led Kabbalat Shabbat services this past week- I received positive feedback from everyone who was there. I spent hours writing up an agenda that would enable me to daven (pray) the Orthodox prayer, including explanations about the prayers, while inserting an interactive portion in which people were able to share their thoughts and feelings about the themes that came up during the service. It was a win-win-win for everyone.

But is it possible to create a community where it’s always a win-win? When these young adults range from one who is the child of a intermarried couple and another who is trying to build up towards becoming the young Orthodox man he can be, how do we find a balance that will satisfy everyone? We won’t- all the time. Yes, this program is about acceptance. But acceptance is not simply “everyone should be equal,” and “let’s change the prayers so that we are all comfortable.” Acceptance is learning how to open up our minds to that which is different- whether in a so-called "secular" manner, meditating and reciting poetry, or religious format, reciting the traditional prayers during Avodat Halev. Acceptance is about letting go sometimes, and not putting up a fight because of something we may not understand or agree with. When something is different, it’s not a threat- it’s just a different way of doing things. Yes, let’s ask questions, but let’s be open to answers we may not feel comfortable with. Let’s have discussions and agree to disagree. The Torah was not meant to create a sense of “This is the law, and tough luck,” but rather learning how to live our lives within a framework that is beautiful, sometimes limiting, that pushes us to find out answers, and want to learn more.