Things have been different since I returned from New
York on Monday. I love it here at Adamah, but working here this week didn’t
bring out the level of excitement it had in the beginning of the season. It
feels a little like seminary (gap-learning program in Israel often attended by
young women after high school)… like being away for a short-term experience,
and then after getting used to the agenda, the initial enthusiasm dwindles,
while getting more involved with classes and routine.
We’ve got four more weeks of living on the farm- I
want to give it the best that I can, but logistics and reality are getting in
the way of my experiencing Adamah fully, as I was in the beginning. I have a
job on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, but have not yet confirmed an
apartment to move into in a month. Brooklyn? Manhattan? Queens? Roommates or a
room in a private home? Living with Jews or non-Jews?
And following a meeting with my supervisor during my
New York visit, I need to send in paperwork and documents; plan a sample
curriculum; come up with a solution as to how I’m going to balance being at
school the week before it starts to prepare and participate in an annual bike
ride, as the culmination of the program.
But I’m still here- attending Avodat HaLev, singing
out to G-d in praise, where my passion comes alive and my neshama (Jewish soul)
feels it goes straight up to Heaven; harvesting Manny cucumbers in on Field Aleph,
the far end of the field; using the hoeing wheel to rid of the weeds along the
trellis beds on Beebe Hill; slapping labels onto jam and pickle jars in the
Cultural Center (more officially known as the Center for Cultural Proliferation);
driving with a staff member to deliver vegetables to CSA in Hartford (Community
Supported Agriculture-an alternative,
locally-based economic model of agriculture); attending a class in the Beit
Adamah about oppression and how it may affect us as individuals.
And growing- getting physically and
emotionally stronger; continuing to learn about myself as an individual- recognizing
my comfort level and sometimes pushing my boundaries in order to create a sense
of Shalom Bayis (peace in the home) among the members of my cohort and in the
Isabella Freedman community; learning to let go of things that really aren’t so
important. What’s important to me is connection and remembering this as a
positive, unique experience- despite the challenges I may be currently dealing
with among other folks. Despite my feeling that as an Orthodox minority, I’m
somewhat of an outsider in this community of pluralism and open-mindedness
about religious practices.
I’ll be taking it all with me when
I leave in September- and hopefully placing it into my metaphorical, and physical
“feel good” file.” Soon, believe it or not, this summer will be history. But
for now, I’m trying to take it all in and bring back the excitement I felt here
on June 11, the first day of Adamah.
I can feel that going back to NYC and getting ready for the transition back to city life and a job was a bit of culture shock for you. Easy to understand that with that flurry of 'transition' preparation, that coming back to Adamah feels strange as you prepare to wind up your summer adventure. No doubt you have grown in more ways than you can even realize. But the experience will definitely remain with you your entire life.
ReplyDeleteLove Dad & Tina (... & Bella!)